Love People, Don't Use Them
Blog post by Justin Nash
A word to pastors – love people, don’t use them. I fear many pastors do this unintentionally when they are trying to revitalize their church. A new pastor is called with a mandate from the congregation and a vision to bring new life into a declining church. The vision is cast; the destination is set. The revitalization express is leaving the station. Now get on board, get out of the way, or get run over.
Whether verbally or through actions, this is what is communicated to the existing members of the church, “You’re either on board or you’re an obstacle to be overcome.” The existing members are viewed as assets to be used in achieving the pastor’s vision. Once the church arrives, the members are easily discarded. As one pastor put it, “The existing members are treated like scaffolding. They are there to support the building or rebuilding of the church, but once the project is complete, the scaffolding is taken down and hauled away.” In other words, once new people are in place to run and resource the church’s ministries, the older members become expendable.
Now, I’m not saying this is the case with every pastor. But is does happen far too often. I’ve seen it. I know of multiple cases of where it is happening right now as I write this. Pastors are systematically and intentionally pushing people out of ministry and leadership roles, or even out of the church altogether, because those church members don’t fully support their vision for the church. Frankly, it’s shameful to see this kind of behavior. It’s pastoral malpractice. And any of us can be guilty of it if we are not careful. Here are six things to remember that will help us guard ourselves against this kind of behavior.
You are called to shepherd, not succeed.
A pastor’s job can be summed up in one word – shepherd. That’s the task pastors are called to. Peter makes that clear when he writes, “shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock” (1 Peter 5:2-3). Notice he doesn’t say anything about casting vision, exercising strategy, leading to greatness, or even growing the church. He says to shepherd the flock. That’s the job. Church leaders tend to adopt worldly metrics and models for success like ever-increasing attendance and programs and budgets. But God’s measure of success for a pastor is to be a faithful shepherd. Any shepherd who abandons some of his sheep to remodel or expand the ranch has failed at his primary task.
You will be held accountable for how you have cared for your sheep.
The writer of Hebrews offers a sobering word of warning to everyone who is or aspires to be a pastor, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account…” (Hebrews 13:17). Every pastor will be held accountable for the way they have cared for their sheep. One day, every undershepherd will give an account to the great Shepherd and Owner of the sheep. The Lord will hold you accountable for the sheep he has entrusted to you, not the ones you want him to entrust to you. This means you will give an account for the sheep that are gentle, loving and kind. It also means the sheep that are harsh, surly and mean. A pastor’s responsibility is for every sheep entrusted to him. Imagine what it will be like to explain to the Lord how you neglected, abandoned or ran off precious sheep he placed in your care.
Remember the golden rule.
Jesus said, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them” (Matthew 7:12). We’re all called to treat people the way we want people to treat us. How would you like to be treated as a disposable cog in a ministry machine? Do you enjoy the thoughts of being used and then discarded when your usefulness is over? If you have an older saint in your church who is pushing back on your plan, stop and put yourself in his or her situation. Often times those who are most resistant to change are those who have invested greatly and consistently for many years. If you were one of those people and pastor came along who wanted to change everything you’d sacrificed for, how would you want to be communicated with and treated? Remember to be gracious and patient with people. Listen well and show respect. This is how you’d want others to treat you, so treat all your members the same way.
The church will be incomplete if you amputate.
In 1 Corinthians 12, the apostle Paul makes it clear that a local church, like a human body, is made up of many parts. Every member is sovereignly placed and specifically gifted by the Holy Spirit in order to serve the church and make it healthy and fruitful (1 Corinthians 12:7). If one part is missing, a church is incomplete and not as healthy as it should be. Beware of amputating a body part in the name of improving the church. When a person is sidelined or removed from a church, that church loses the giftedness of that member. Dear pastor, please remember that you might not know everything about your church. You may not be as wise as you think. The Lord gifts us others in the body of Christ to help us know and understand what we ought to do. He gives us wise counsel and it doesn’t always come from where we expect it. Sometimes, your critics will have good and even helpful critique of your plans, even if it is hard to hear. So, listen and respond with humility and thanksgiving because “when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (Ephesians 4:16).
The means can become the ends.
“Little children, keep yourselves from idols” (1 John 5:21). So warned the apostle John. As human beings we are given to making idols of the good gifts God gives to us in this life. Ministry is not immune to this. A pastor’s vision and ambition for a larger and healthier church can easily become an idol. And our idols demand sacrifices, sometimes human ones. We might nobly justify the pursuit of our ministry ambitions as wanting to glorify God or see as many people as possible come to faith in Jesus Christ. Those, or some similarly laudable motivation, may have been the original impetus for our goals for the church. At the beginning, maybe we did have the right ends in mind and our plan and vision was the means for achieving those ends. But over time, the means became the ends and an idol was born. Idols are all-consuming. They will consume everything and everyone we will give them. Don’t ever sacrifice anyone on the altar of your ministry ambitions.
Remember the greatest commandment.
Never forget that everything you do as a pastor ought to be driven by love – love for God and love for others that flows out of your love for God (Matthew 22-37-40). Christlike love (John 13:34-35) for church members ought to define every pastor. If you don’t love your church members, no revitalization plan will ever be successful no matter how brilliant or well-executed. As Mark Clifton says, “Love the church you have, not the church you wish you had.” The first step in any church revitalization effort should be to love the sheep the Lord has entrusted to you. When you learn to do that, you are much less likely to use them.