Why "People are Saying..." is a bad thing.
Blog post by Justin Nash
It might be one of the worst things a pastor can hear, “Pastor, people are saying…” or some derivative of that idea. You’ve heard it said, been on the receiving end or perhaps said it yourself. Basically, it’s an anonymous complaint credited to a nebulous “some people” in the church. It is always a complaint. No pastor ever heard, “Pastor, people are saying you’re doing a great job.” If people offer a compliment, there will always be a name attached.
The anonymity is really the issue. Often times the one saying “some people” is actually the “some people” and just doesn’t want to own his or her complaint or criticism. Other times, the one delivering the message is trying to protect the critic. To be sure, sometimes those criticisms or concerns are completely legitimate, other times, not so much. But hiding behind a cloak of anonymity will never be good for the church. In fact, if “people are saying” is a normal part of the vocabulary at your church, that’s a very bad sign. There are at least two major reasons “people are saying” is such a bad thing: It’s unbiblical and it’s corrosive.
Using this phrase is unbiblical.
It violates Matthew 18:15-17
First, it violates the clear teaching of Matthew 18:15-17. Jesus is clear here that the way to address a grievance with a brother or sister in the church is to first go to that person whom we feel is in the wrong. If a reconciliation cannot be found, you are to take another person with you, and finally, if necessary, take it before the church. However, there is no contingency for anonymity. In every step of church discipline, you must own your words public and private. To hide behind namelessness is to violate the clear process of reconciliation that Jesus laid out.
It violates the Golden Rule.
Second, “people are saying” violates the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12). We are exhorted to treat others the way we would like to be treated. We wouldn’t want nameless, faceless people to criticize us, so we shouldn’t do that to others. Putting our names to our words will force us think carefully before we speak and will serve as an example to others in the congregation. We need to be the first one to practice the golden rule, even if no one else does.
It violates the law of love.
Third, “people are saying” violates the law of love (John 13:34-35). Bringing complaints or concerns in secretive or anonymous manner is an intensely selfish act that seeks to deny any responsibility for the words being spoken. This simply is not a loving act. It is at best an act of cowardice and at worse an act of malice.
Using this phrase is also corrosive.
It creates distrust.
Gossiping and backbiting in this way dissolves trust in others in the body of Christ. Anonymity breeds secrecy that creates this distrust. It’s easy to become distrustful of everyone when you don’t know who is saying what.
It creates disunity in the church.
This distrust easily deteriorates into factions and an “us” versus “them” mentality. Anonymity creates faceless, nameless and impersonal enemies. We already have one enemy and accuser. We don’t need any more. Owning our words, especially our criticisms, is an act of vulnerability and trust with our fellow church members. Even if we disagree, to disagree openly is the right way to resolve conflict. This will ultimately build unity as we learn to disagree with one another in loving and Christlike ways.
It gives "bullies" extra leverage.
Anonymity gives church bullies extra leverage as they can operate in the shadows and use others to do their dirty work. As a result, the true sinfulness of the bullies is safely hidden. I have seen this numerous times where bullies use others, often a board chair, to get their complaints aired with a greater level of authority. With the “Some people are saying” remark one critic can create the illusion of being multiple concerned church members.
Three ways you can respond to "people are saying"
Disregard the comment.
Ask who the “some people” are so you can go directly to the person and discuss the issue. If the messenger is unwilling to share that, then dismiss it until it can be addressed properly.
Consider the criticism (it's always criticism).
Is it legitimate? Even if it comes from a mean spirit or harmful intent, it may still be valid. Prayerfully consider how or if you should respond or if you need to make corrections.
Don't answer it from the pulpit.
A pastor who answers the anonymous critic from the pulpit runs the risk of committing the same offense. This is a major mistake for a pastor who can easily go from being bullied to being the bully since the pastor has the biggest platform to get his message across.