There are passages of Scripture that, when read through an American cultural lens, can feel unfamiliar or a bit awkward. In my pre-teen and teen years, I was thankful that we no longer practiced the holy kiss described in Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12 and 1 Thessalonians 5:26. Kissing in church? How uncomfortable. In all honesty, now that I am in my 40s, I am still thankful that we don’t do it. I recognize this command isn’t instructing us to pucker up and lock lips with our fellow church goers. It may have been more akin to a handshake with a close cheek to cheek touch like what we still see in Middle Eastern cultures, which I witnessed while traveling with BICS.
An Introvert’s Struggle with “Meet and Greet”
As an introvert and born and bred New Englander, I like a good amount of physical distance between myself and others when in groups. This is why I’m not a fan of meet and greet times during worship services. Once the worship service begins, I want to stay in my pew and look forward. I personally don’t look forward to times of “forced fellowship.”
From Preference to Conviction
In the past, I would have argued that the meet and greet times in worship were an interruption to what we are truly gathered to do. We are called to worship in prayer, song and Word. I would have made the case — more from preference and comfort — that the meet and greet was an interruption to the flow of worship. I wouldn’t make that case any longer. I believe these times can be good and biblical.
The Church as Family, Not Individuals
The passages referring to a holy kiss tell us that the church gathers not as individuals but as a family of faith. While the holy kiss may have been cultural, the precedent is to greet and welcome one another in worship. Congregational worship is not just an individual act but rather a gathering of men and women made in the image of God who come together to worship their Creator and Savior in Jesus Christ. This is why online congregations or campuses built around livestreams are tragic. Livestreaming is a blessing for shut ins and the ill, but is a poor replacement for the gathering of God’s people to worship together. The holy kiss, along with passages like Hebrews 10:24–25, shows us that gathering and interacting is integral to a life of worship and community.
Passing the Peace in the Early Church
In the early church, the holy kiss — or the greeting time — was called “passing the peace.” Jesus’ resurrection greeting of “Peace be with you” (Luke 24:36; John 20:19, 21, 26) was more than a polite greeting. Jesus was sharing God’s shalom, or peace, with his people, which was secured by his life, death and resurrection. On Sundays, we gather to share that peace with one another. Having a time during the worship service to greet those worshiping alongside us is a testimony to the peace God has established between his people.
A Holy Handshake and a Changed Heart
Greeting one another in Christ is a sign of reconciliation, love and renewed relationship in the church. While I am still not a fan of greeting times, I see their biblical, theological and communal goodness. My introversion and New England sensibilities bristle at the meet and greet, but my desire to honor and follow Christ can put those things aside and guide me to greet my brother or sister in Christ with a holy handshake and welcome.
