20th-century minister Samuel Chadwick said, “Compassion costs … and comfort draws from the deep.” Like a bucket drawing water from a well, acts of compassion always rely on personal reserves.
Today, caregiving is one of the clearest expressions of compassion. At first, the word brings to mind noble and selfless acts — offering comfort, sharing burdens and meeting needs. After all, who doesn’t like to give? “Care” and “giving” sound like the perfect union of admirable ideals.
But it isn’t long before caregivers realize another, less appealing synonym for their role: burden-bearer. Caregiving, by definition, means taking on another person’s struggles — whether physical, emotional or financial. Its nobility is tempered by the hard realities of its toll. Ironically, those who take on another’s needs often find themselves developing deep needs of their own.
With 53 million caregivers in America, chances are you are one — or you know one.
Consider the scope of this reality. According to the Administration for Community Living, 53 million Americans provide care for aging or disabled loved ones — without counting those caring for children, the chronically ill, the homeless or the poor. Family caregivers alone provide more unpaid support than all professional services combined, an effort estimated to be worth $600 billion.1 If you are not a caregiver yourself, you most likely know someone who is.
It’s no wonder that caregiving’s burdens have filled thousands of books, articles and professional journals. A quick search turns up more than 10,000 entries. Here, we can only scratch the surface of the demands placed on family members, spouses and friends who step into this role — often voluntarily, sometimes without fully knowing what it will cost.
I don’t say this to diminish the sacrifice of professional caregivers. I’ve seen them serve with quiet, underappreciated valor for decades. But those who care out of love rather than obligation — who give without financial compensation or formal training — face unique emotional and physical challenges. Their service is priceless, yet comes at a personal cost.
Caregivers carry six heavy burdens – do any sound familiar?
It takes deep spiritual resilience to keep going — to remember that Christ, who bore the ultimate burden, sympathizes with theirs.
Time and Independence
Both observation and personal testimony confirm that a caregiver’s time and independence are among their greatest burdens. Depending on the level of need — whether it’s managing a loved one’s banking, bills and taxes or monitoring a spouse with dementia who wanders at night — caregivers often feel their own lives have been eclipsed by another’s. Even at its most manageable, caregiving disrupts personal time, and at its most demanding, it can consume it entirely.
Physical Demands
The physical demands of caregiving add another layer of strain. Providing hands-on care for someone who is physically or cognitively impaired requires both grit and endurance. Medical appointments involving a wheelchair or walker are slow and arduous. Bathing and dressing — daily routines that most people take for granted — become grueling when done for someone else. Many family caregivers have no prior experience with this level of care, making the rapid learning curve yet another burden.
Emotional Health
Then there are the less obvious strains. The never-ending nature of household tasks can gnaw at the edges of larger caregiving duties. Being on call at all hours is draining, and the possibility of an emergency is ever-present. Chronic sleep deprivation can take a toll, leading to illness and impaired judgment. When caregiving involves mental impairment, communication challenges add yet another layer of difficulty. It’s no surprise that caregivers often find themselves physically and emotionally exhausted — to the point that their own health begins to suffer.
Over time, the weight of caregiving spills over into every area of life. The physical toll is heavy, but the emotional burden can be even more exhausting.
There’s the well-documented phenomenon of compassion fatigue — a state where caregivers feel emotionally drained, functioning on autopilot out of mere duty. In more demanding situations, feelings of helplessness set in. When a caregiver’s efforts fail to bring the hoped-for improvement, despair can creep in. That despair deepens when they realize their loved one will never recover. Professionals are trained to handle end-of-life care; most family caregivers are not.
Caregiving can also stir up contradictory emotions. The sadness and exhaustion of the role can harden into bitterness — toward the care recipient, toward family members who fail to help or toward the circumstances that forced them into this position. But resentment is often met with guilt: “I shouldn’t feel this way!” It’s a cry heard from many who love the person they care for, even as they struggle under the weight of their responsibility. Guilt takes many forms — “Am I doing enough?” “Am I neglecting the rest of my family?” — leaving caregivers in a constant state of emotional tension.
Social and Relational
Relationships can also suffer. The dynamic between caregiver and care receiver often shifts, as when adult children find themselves parenting their own parents. Sibling relationships may be tested, especially when responsibilities are unevenly shared, or opinions differ. Loneliness is another common challenge, as caregiving limits time for friendships, social activities and even church involvement.
Monetary
And then there are the financial costs. While many expenses are covered by insurance or programs like Medicaid, caregiving often comes with out-of-pocket costs — transportation, home modifications, lost wages or even direct financial support to the care recipient. Over time, these financial burdens can erode savings and impact retirement plans.
Spiritual
For Christian caregivers, there are also spiritual challenges. Caregiving can trigger a crisis of faith, especially when the caregiver stepped into the role out of obedience to God. In moments of exhaustion and frustration, even the most devoted believer may cry out, “I didn’t sign up for this!” or “What happened to my life?” It takes deep spiritual resilience to keep going — to remember that Christ, who bore the ultimate burden, sympathizes with theirs.
Support and resources can help navigate the struggles.
But while the challenges of caregiving are vast, so are the resources available. Counselors and support groups can help navigate emotional and logistical struggles. Thousands of books, articles and forums offer insight into “care for the caregiver.” Online platforms like TCARE and the Family Caregiver Alliance (www.caregiver.org) provide guidance and community.
If possible, caregivers should find regular relief — whether through the help of family, short-term care facilities or in-home services. And when the burden becomes too great, full-time placement in a care facility may become necessary. Though often the most agonizing decision, it is sometimes the most loving one.
Caregiving is hard, but it’s also holy work.
With all these challenges, it’s important to remember that caregiving is not just a burden — it is also a calling with profound meaning. Love and duty may drive the caregiver, but the rewards are real. Even Jesus “endured the cross for the joy set before him” (Heb. 12:2).
Caregiving often leads to restored health for the care recipient — surely the goal of every caregiver at the outset. It also deepens relationships, strengthening bonds between giver and receiver. Caregivers themselves grow in resilience and character when they manage the weight of their calling wisely. And perhaps most importantly, caregiving pulls the caregiver out of themselves — fostering humility, selflessness and a heart more attuned to the needs of others.
Both believers and unbelievers share in the burdens and rewards of caregiving. But for the Christian, caregiving is more than just humanitarianism — it is a reflection of God’s kingdom.
One minute of biblical theology will make this clear.
During his ministry, Jesus demonstrated compassion not just through good deeds, but through miracles. In doing so, he revealed that mercy and healing are connected to a much greater reality: the coming of God’s kingdom. He made this explicit in Matthew 12:28: “If I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you.”
This is the ultimate reason for Christian caregiving. Our acts of compassion do more than meet earthly needs — they point to the mercy of God in Christ and “incarnates grace,” foreshadowing the day when all suffering will end. Without this eternal perspective, caregiving is just another noble effort, no different from what the secular world already does.
When we care for the vulnerable, we embody God’s will “on earth as it is in heaven.” Our compassion points backward to the mercy of Christ and forward to the final “healing of the nations” (Rev. 22:2).
Of course, theological insights may not feel particularly helpful in the middle of sleepless nights or overwhelming exhaustion. But in the end, they remind the caregiver that their work has eternal value. When compassion draws from deep personal reserves, it mirrors Christ himself — who poured out his life for us all.
2 Responses
Wonderfully helpful and insight, Larry. Thanks so much!
Good information here. Reminds me of my caregiving days with my mother. It had many challeges, but I was so thankful for the three years I drove back and forth to Virginia to care for her. Thanks for the article.